Je-Nae!

I think we all need a little upbeat-ness right about now. And I got to thinking about the ladies I am lucky enough to fundraise and walk with, and Jenny from the Block came to mind. JeNae! Upbeat to the -nth degree.  I think it’s Jenny’s time to blog-shine.

Truth = I don’t think Jenny has started walking at all.  She did just buy a big house in the middle of somewhere far so maybe she’s getting miles walking from guest room to guest room.  She tried to claim training credit when she cleaned her carpets. We joke that Jenny might show up to the 3-Day on a Vespa.  I can easily picture Jenny flying by us on her scooter saying “Let’s Go Team!” doing the Humpty Dance.  And I’m not entirely sure we’re joking anymore.  And ohhhh, I think she has raised $100 so far.  $2,200 to go, Je-Nae!

I can mock because I freaking love this girl.  Jenny doesn’t have cancer, didn’t lose her mom or have a scary mammogram. I am walking because hello, I’m UniBoob, and two people in my immediate family are breast cancer survivors.  This is a personal, personal issue to me.  Jenny  just said, Hey, my friends are doing it, sounds fun!  Good cause, good times, and here she is.  Heart of gold, this one.

Jenny is our team Tivo – we will say JeNAE we need some entertainment, and she will rock that road with hilarity. She is with me on the awesomeness of Thriller, and word, she speaks slang like P-Diddy.  She will entertain us – naturally, without effort, and our stomachs will hurt as much as our feet from laughing.  I simply can not wait to walk with Jenny.

Want to love her more?

Jenny and her husband, Aaron, (who, by the by, is in Afghanistan) are trying to adopt a baby.  Guess how I feel about that? Tears, people, tears. And not because I’m a force-feeder of adoption, but because this girl is so, so full of love.  The world is a better, funnier, happier place because of the Jennys.  Holla girlfriend. Let’s get you a baby!

They have a blog.  Read it and pass it along.  Word-of-mouth is how this process works.

www.meanttobethree.wordpress.com

       

Tough As Nails.

It is late.  I am tired.  I was in bed, and on a whim, checked my messages on my phone.

And with that, another friend has cancer.

And now I’m pissed. Is this the right reaction?  What exactly is the correct response here?  Sadness? Sympathy? Compassion? I feel like any one of these would be more appropriate.  But what can I tell you, I’m just angry. I’m angry that this good, good person has to lay there without sleep, tonight and tomorrow and the next night, wondering about the tumor eating at her insides.  Wondering if it is growing, if it is treatable, if it will go away. Wondering about her family and her kids and her finances. Wondering how her life will now be changed. Because it will be.

I am pissed.

I guess I just don’t get it. We put a man on the moon, for the love of God.  We can inject botulism into your forehead and make you wrinkle-free.  I can send you a message from my phone, and like magic, through the air, you’ll get it in a second.  But Cancer? The Big C?  Sorry, no can do, amigos.  This one has us stumped.

I have no answers.  Manalive, do you know the questions I get from this blog?  People asking for my secret to good humor, to wit, to living. People I don’t know asking me what to say to their friends, their loved ones. I am now the Emily Post of cancer. Yay me.

Here is what I say – and I will say it to my friend – you fight.  You fight like a mofo.  You fight like you’ve never fought before because Sweet Jebus, this can not beat you.  It can not take who you are and what you’re made of.  You will find every ounce of courage you have and every shred of BRING IT ON attitude you can muster.

Other friends will cook for you and bring you books and encourage you.  Good for them.  I’m going to tell you to fight. Because you, my friend, are as tough as goddamn nails.

Here’s a Secret. I Don’t Want to Walk 60 Miles.

HELLO Readers!  I have missed you.  But apparently not enough to get me to post something in the last two weeks.  I joke, I joke.

I really can not tell you how much better I feel Minus Infection.  Being Minus Infection means Minus Nausea, Minus Headaches, Minus Constant Low-Grade Fever.  And now, FINALLY, I can blog about the Walk.  And not my surgeries. Although, looking back, those 9 fun-loving surgeries gave me a lot of food for thought, didn’t they? Alas, there will be more.  We will save that for another day.

We digress.  The walk.  My training.

Two days ago, Teammate Shannon had the perfectly glorious idea to walk 5 miles after we dropped the kiddos off at school.  What Shannon neglected to mention was the Extreme Heat Warning here in Phoenix. I thought I was going to pass out, and I am not lying.  9:30am, 5 miles, 100 degrees, and I, in my brilliance, opted for pants and a sleeved shirt.  And, of course, water was too much of a hassle to carry so I left it in the car.

Lesson learned.  So as Shannon walked at mach speed down down the Bridle Path, I ran through the sprinklers of the private lawns on Central Ave, and prayed that it would start snowing as a cosmic sign that yes, I can walk 60 miles.  It did not snow.

But I made it.  And the reality that I would be walking 60 miles hit me.  And it hit me hard.  And it said YOU MORON, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

60 miles is the distance, literally, from Sunnyslope High School at Dunlap and Central to the Casa Grande Mall on the I-10.  In other words, I am walking halfway to Tucson.  Let me be clear about something – the most I have ever walked in one effort is 5 miles.  And that was two days ago with Shannon.  And now I’m going to take a jaunt down to Casa Grande? And take 3 days doing this?

Enter paralyzing self-doubt.

I shared this doubt with Shannon, who in her non-abrasive, read between the lines, gentle, yet direct way, reminded me that Hello Amiga, this walk is a sacrifice.  For me, the fundraising was easy, the organization is fun, Thriller Flash Mob? Downright divine.  The walking?? Eeek.  And therein lies my sacrifice.

Enter lightbulb above my head.

True Statement: I really do not want to walk 60 miles.  At all.  But I will because I  can.  Because I have the luxury (and it IS a luxury) of walking.  I will be walking while some husband is entertaining his wife while she gets chemo.  And while a mom gets diagnosed and struggles with how much to tell her kids. And because 39,520 women will die this year from breast cancer.  Let’s bold that up.  39,520 women will die this year from breast cancer.  And thanks to research, I’m not one of them.

So yeah, I’ll walk.  I’m going to whine about the heat and the time the training takes and the blisters.  And I will continue to ask why the Phoenix walk couldn’t be in February so the training months aren’t 100+ degrees.  But I’ll walk. Because life is in the sacrifices, and amen sisters, I’ve got my life.  Time for a small sacrifice.

Post Script: I wonder if Aline, friend and inspiration, even remembers telling me this.  Aline, do you?  We were sitting at LGO years ago, both embedded in the international adoption process at this time in our lives, and both very frustrated with the paperwork, the red tape, the time the process takes, etc.  And out of your mouth came this little jewel of a thought.  I have carried this with me mentally for years – every time things get hard, actually.  Thanks for being the kind of gal who utters genius quotes off the top of your head.