Here’s a Secret. I Don’t Want to Walk 60 Miles.

1 Sep

HELLO Readers!  I have missed you.  But apparently not enough to get me to post something in the last two weeks.  I joke, I joke.

I really can not tell you how much better I feel Minus Infection.  Being Minus Infection means Minus Nausea, Minus Headaches, Minus Constant Low-Grade Fever.  And now, FINALLY, I can blog about the Walk.  And not my surgeries. Although, looking back, those 9 fun-loving surgeries gave me a lot of food for thought, didn’t they? Alas, there will be more.  We will save that for another day.

We digress.  The walk.  My training.

Two days ago, Teammate Shannon had the perfectly glorious idea to walk 5 miles after we dropped the kiddos off at school.  What Shannon neglected to mention was the Extreme Heat Warning here in Phoenix. I thought I was going to pass out, and I am not lying.  9:30am, 5 miles, 100 degrees, and I, in my brilliance, opted for pants and a sleeved shirt.  And, of course, water was too much of a hassle to carry so I left it in the car.

Lesson learned.  So as Shannon walked at mach speed down down the Bridle Path, I ran through the sprinklers of the private lawns on Central Ave, and prayed that it would start snowing as a cosmic sign that yes, I can walk 60 miles.  It did not snow.

But I made it.  And the reality that I would be walking 60 miles hit me.  And it hit me hard.  And it said YOU MORON, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

60 miles is the distance, literally, from Sunnyslope High School at Dunlap and Central to the Casa Grande Mall on the I-10.  In other words, I am walking halfway to Tucson.  Let me be clear about something – the most I have ever walked in one effort is 5 miles.  And that was two days ago with Shannon.  And now I’m going to take a jaunt down to Casa Grande? And take 3 days doing this?

Enter paralyzing self-doubt.

I shared this doubt with Shannon, who in her non-abrasive, read between the lines, gentle, yet direct way, reminded me that Hello Amiga, this walk is a sacrifice.  For me, the fundraising was easy, the organization is fun, Thriller Flash Mob? Downright divine.  The walking?? Eeek.  And therein lies my sacrifice.

Enter lightbulb above my head.

True Statement: I really do not want to walk 60 miles.  At all.  But I will because I  can.  Because I have the luxury (and it IS a luxury) of walking.  I will be walking while some husband is entertaining his wife while she gets chemo.  And while a mom gets diagnosed and struggles with how much to tell her kids. And because 39,520 women will die this year from breast cancer.  Let’s bold that up.  39,520 women will die this year from breast cancer.  And thanks to research, I’m not one of them.

So yeah, I’ll walk.  I’m going to whine about the heat and the time the training takes and the blisters.  And I will continue to ask why the Phoenix walk couldn’t be in February so the training months aren’t 100+ degrees.  But I’ll walk. Because life is in the sacrifices, and amen sisters, I’ve got my life.  Time for a small sacrifice.

Post Script: I wonder if Aline, friend and inspiration, even remembers telling me this.  Aline, do you?  We were sitting at LGO years ago, both embedded in the international adoption process at this time in our lives, and both very frustrated with the paperwork, the red tape, the time the process takes, etc.  And out of your mouth came this little jewel of a thought.  I have carried this with me mentally for years – every time things get hard, actually.  Thanks for being the kind of gal who utters genius quotes off the top of your head.

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